Evening Musings.

I've been making it a point during the three weeks that I don't have to grade for class to make some significant progress on my dissertation proposal. So far that's going really well. I went home yesterday, took a nap and read for 6 hours. Today was kind of the same deal, but I'm having a lot of trouble keeping focused now. Sigh. So many things to think about!

In reading yesterday, I figured out yet another component that I want to add to my project. I talked to DQ this morning about it and she was very supportive, and it sounds like it's going to work... I'm just getting really tired of reading. I want to write. I have 1.5 papers left to read that I printed out for myself, and tomorrow I was going to type up all of the notes that I made from my readings and finally get down to writing the proposal. But sometimes late at night I get really anxious, and I'm not sure why. There are several possibilities/probabilities:

- Wedding is 88 days away. Commence mental rundown of checklist and stress over what hasn't been dealt with yet.

- Proposal needs to be written by April 1st. At least a draft of it.

- Need to study for qualifying exams. I'm still not sure when these are going to be held. Or what it is that I need to study. But once I get going on the proposal I can get into studying.

- Still need to see my dress and make sure the necessary alterations have been made and it's not completely screwed up.

- The never ending pile of grading that I will have to do.

- I hate being alone during the week. It sucks. But it's also great because I can get a lot of reading done.

- I replaced the catalytic converter in my car a couple weeks ago (read: I spent about $1000 on my car a couple weeks ago) and the check engine light came on AGAIN this morning. I'm really hoping that it's not something horribly wrong... My little car ate all of my tax refund :(

- I'm switching to the dark side. All this week I've needed to have a cup of coffee instead of tea to get started and keep myself awake at least until 2 pm. It's still too bitter for me but I think the Vanilla Bean blend from World Market is nice with some whipped cream :) Makes it drinkable. You know you're getting in deep when you have to up the daily caffeine dosage.

 So that's the window into my head at the moment. Some good things have happened this week though:

- "Poop, while grim;" student dropped my class yesterday. It was the best decision for both of us. He met with the other TA, myself, and DQ and it was apparent that he just had no clue what was going on in the class. So now he doesn't fail anymore and I don't have to spend hours and hours fixing everything that's wrong with his reports.

- George has been getting several job offers! It's nice that he's such a hot commodity and that we'll be financially taken care of after he graduates. I got me a sugar daddy and it's NICE. We can finally comfortably plan a honeymoon (need to figure out where to...) and maybe move to a nicer apartment. Oh, and make some substantial payments on my student loans, but details, details.

- I submitted my first grant application last week! It would be absolutely amazing if I get it, and would be a significant weight off of my chest, but I won't find out until May if I'm accepted or rejected. Fingers crossed!

- I know that I need to work out more, and that I need to make time for it. I'm never really sure where to go or what to do, but it occurred to me this evening that I could swim laps before leaving school during the week. It's an interesting idea, and I think it will give me the activity I need, since I'm either at my desk or on the couch all day if I'm not teaching.


 Woooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Done with Finals! FOREVER!

So fall semester is officially done. My requirements for my degree are (almost) done. The classes that will require finals? DONE. No more finals for me. Forever.

FOR-EV-ERRRRRR!!!!

What? Pinkie Pie says it best :)

Things that have changed in the last... 4 months? 

• I'm officially switching from a Master's to a PhD. :) 
• A result of: wanting a PhD eventually and finally figuring out what I want to do and being able to tailor my current project to that ideal. SCORE!

• I will be teaching again next semester. DQ's Marine Botany lab!
• Apparently I'm next in the rotation of DQ's grad students to teach the lab portion of her class. The nice thing is that I won't have to do all of the grading by myself!

• My wedding dress came in and I went for my fitting and supposedly the alterations are done. Woo!
• I was asked if I wanted to wait for the alterations to be done at a later date. I said no. The sooner things can get checked off of my list, the better!

• Lots of wedding details are coming together, thankfully. Trying to get as much done as possible.
• The dress... the tuxes... figuring out the favors... making my veil... the schedule... wedding party gifts, toasting flutes and cake serving set, and staying within budget! That was a very happy order.

• The guest list is by far the worst part of wedding planning.
• I don't think I've said a truer statement.

• Dissertation proposal still not written, but that's my assignment for myself next semester. Oh and taking quals. 
• :-/

I think things are falling into place very nicely! We're leaving for California for the holidays next week (SO. STOKED.) and I actually get to see my hun bun for an entire TWO WEEKS. That hasn't happened since this summer! 

Christmas gifts this year are rather small. While we don't have to pay for the wedding anymore (still feeling the blessings of an amazing family, bee-tee-dubs), we're still kinda in the not-able-to-afford-lavish-gifts income bracket. Sticking to small gifts for the immediate family and baked goodies for everyone else this year. Apparently my gingerbread cookies are a hit! The tin that I brought for my lab mates yesterday was hoovered by the end of the day. The only issue is figuring out how to get baked goodies to the family in California since we're flying instead of driving this year. 

And you know? I keep getting asked by family members what I want for Christmas this year. And while there are things that I wouldn't mind getting, I can honestly say that I'm good without gifts this year. All I want is to spend time with family that I haven't seen in a year, and my wedding is still happening. I'm good. No. I'm GREAT. 

Happy holidays, everyone :)

Quick Update.

We went to the Linkin Park concert in Houston last week before the craziness of studying for exams settled in for me. It was an awesome show, and we left feeling a bit deaf, but it was a price I was willing to pay. The Toyota Center in Houston is designed with special rafters that reflect sound back down on the audience so the bass was RIDICULOUS despite sitting as far away from the stage as one possibly can be.

Despite hearing the songs over and over again (thanks G) for weeks leading up to the concert, I still wasn't familiar with the new album, A Thousand Suns. It's a lot different from their previous albums, but it grows on you every time you listen to it. Seeing a majority of the album performed live, along with a bunch of oldies that I'm well acquainted with, was truly an amazing experience. I'm glad we went, and I'm happy that we can scratch them off our list of bands to see in concert.

Who we've seen so far:
- Linkin Park
- Green Day (also in the Toyota Center)
- Franz Ferdinand
- Puddle of Mudd
- Sevendust
- 10 Years
- Three Days Grace
- Buckcherry

Still need to see:
- My Chemical Romance
- Breaking Benjamin

Exam Stuff:

Geological oceanography exam was yesterday. Prof said to use the objectives heading each lecture as a guide for studying. So I did. For three days I did almost nothing else. Felt pretty confident that I understood the concepts outlined in the objectives. Get to the test. Stare at it.

I have never seen such a disjuncture between what we talked about in lecture and what was asked of us on the exam. I did my best, but honestly, I don't feel that I passed at all. The only other time I've felt an utter crippling of my self esteem because of a test was in Biochem II. This was torture. And what made it worse was all of the geo ocean majors were all "that was so fuckin easy, omg." STFU GEO OCEAN MAJORS. I HATE YOU ALL RIGHT NOW.

I talked to other students (who aren't geo majors or have geo backgrounds) and they reassured me that that's just how the class is. The prof rarely gives out less than a B unless you really just don't do anything in the class. So why am I still freaking out? Because you never know. I like to do well. I like to have solid ground when it comes to my grade. I don't like to count on a curve or generosity for trying.

I'm still angsting about it even after talking at length with Alicia, who had a similar encounter with her test yesterday. Drowning our sorrows in margaritas and mexican last night was wonderful.

I had even been up since 5 am because A) I couldn't sleep for worry that the test was going to be awful. I was right in thinking so. And B) G was talking and laughing in his sleep, and stealing the covers. I honestly don't remember what he said. I think it was combining with my half dreams about geology and resulted in my hearing complete nonsense.

Tomorrow's bio ocean exam (I will get my revenge, geo majors. I WILL GET MY REVENGE.) and then I plan to go home and crash on the couch with a glass of wine and my netflix queue.

I haven't been grading data forms lately because I've been busy doing homework and keeping up with my own classes. And today a student noticed and sent me an email asking me why I haven't graded her make up yet.

Students. I, like you, have other shit to do. The difference? I need to keep my GPR up for financial aid, and not fail out of grad school. On top of taking 3 graduate courses, two of which have exams this week and one of those assigns annoyingly tedious homework assignments that take up A LOT of time, I have to teach 3 classes. And grade. SIXTY DATA FORMS AND SIXTY QUIZZES EVERY WEEK.

Granted, that was my choice. However, sometimes, my own shit comes first. Deal with it.

Repeat repeat beat beat.

I'm beginning to wonder if I should even bother with the lecture before students can start the lab. No matter how many times I say the same thing over and over in the lecture, for some reason, I'm just not heard.

I suppose the only reason to keep lecturing is so that I can say I actually did tell them what they needed to know in case of complaints about their grades. I said at least 3 times "answer your questions in the way that they SHOULD BE, NOT the way your results suggest." At least half of my class didn't follow those instructions.

Another funny thing: I got a complaint that I took off points because a student didn't connect their points on a line graph because I "didn't say that they needed to."

#1, I did say so at the beginning of the semester and the first couple labs until I assumed it was beaten into your heads.

#2, I asked the student if they would submit a line graph to a math class without connecting their points. Their reply "... but you didn't say that we had to!" I shouldn't have to, but I did anyway. Still not heard.



Why is it so hard for people to read directions? Once again I got line graphs where the instructions clearly say "bar graph," yet again.

*facepalm*

The happs.

Today, a fellow resident of my complex left their car door jammed into mine. Their car door was OPEN and LEFT STUCK into my driver's seat door.

Not much damage. But still. Seriously? Who does that? I wouldn't think the owner of a car that's obviously been sideswiped would do that.

I long for my own house and a driveway that I don't have to share with anyone but George. I want to move.

I left them a nasty-gram.

Other happs:

This last week's lab took the whole 2 hours. Which means on Friday I was unable to eat lunch until 3 pm because Salinity took forever to set up. Thanks, conductivity meters, for not calibrating.

Students don't read directions. Am I surprised? I shouldn't be. Le sigh.

I'm broken. I can't eat the chips that are served with salsa in restaurants anymore. We went to Ninfa's for lunch, and my stomach is so upset right now. I can't handle the fried greasy goodness of chips. *tear*

George's battery died. We bought jumper cables and I learned how to jump start a car. Woo! (I'm praying that his car survives for the next 15 months.)

A whale of a tale and it's all true

I swear by my tattoo!

You know the semester's in the swing of things when I get nightmares about teaching. Last night the dream was me teaching this coming week's lab, only I for some reason was teaching at 2 pm and I was 3 minutes late. A tv was on in the corner and I was unable to turn it off, or turn the volume down. My students were paying attention more to the tv than me, and eventually I tried to at least change the channel so that there would only be white noise because for some reason unplugging the thing did no good. And then it was stuck on a channel with a Zac Efron movie (I'm pretty sure whatever movie it was was concocted by my imagination, but I got a weird sense of deja vu). I then said screw it, you're on your own, and if you have any questions, I will not be answering them because you're all too busy paying attention to the tv. End what I remember of the dream.

I have the feeling that this is me feeling some residual anger from what happened on Friday. Which is this:

My Wednesday classes are awesome. They show up 10 minutes early, and appear to have at least read the lab so they look like they know what they're doing. My Friday class drags their feet. A couple students showed up halfway into quiz time. A couple students didn't show up at all. And then. I have a student show up (who isn't mine) saying that he missed his lab earlier in the week, and talked to his professor who said that he could just show up to any of the Friday labs and it would be fine.

Um. Excuse me??

#1) Professors have no right to say when students can make up labs. Professors have nothing to do with the labs. So what makes them think that they can just send anyone to whatever lab?
#2) We as TAs have a system for making up labs, for those of us who allow make up labs. That system means that the student talks TO THEIR TA and not their professor who has nothing to do with the labs. The TA then talks to the other TAs that have labs when the student can make up the assignments to see if there's room. If there's no room, some other form of make up work is given. END OF STORY.
#3) Some classes are literally full, and there are no seats available (case in point, all three of my classes). Luckily for the dude that showed up, some of my students didn't so there was actually a spot for him to do work.

I was so caught off guard, I should have said too bad, I don't know if all of my students are coming. But I didn't. Next time I will know better.

That's just story number 1. Number 2 goes like this:

Student comes to class and says that this is his first class, what should he do? Um. I dunno. Maybe you should have emailed me beforehand. Cause there's work due today. Again. Caught off guard. Told him that he can talk to me after class about what to do. Gave him a paper to read and write a summary of. And then told him the what's what about class. Said that if you do this again in another class, you may have a TA who won't give a shit and say, you get to take the quiz, you should have emailed me to see if there was something you missed the first week of class.

There was something really odd about how he spoke. Like a surfer who lost too many brain cells. Think Keanu Reeves in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Kind of annoying.

In other news. I'm really excited about this week's recipes! We just went to the grocery store to stock up for the following:

Cajun Pecan-Crusted Catfish, served with green beans and garlic mashed potatoes
Indian-Spiced Chicken Pitas (I couldn't find the Indian spice indicated in the recipe, so we're substituting a Greek seasoning. Damn you HEB!)
Baked Mac N Cheese
Chili with cornbread and collard greens

I spent a lot of time going through EatingWell.com last night looking for healthy but tasty meals. We already made smoky stuffed peppers and spaghetti with quick meat sauce this past week. Very diet friendly.

I also found that trying to instantly cut 500 calories from your eating routine is really hard. The first class I teach on Wednesdays is from 11 to 1, and right around 11:45 I could feel my blood sugar drop. I was starving, my head was hurting, and generally I felt sick. I tried to progressively cut back on the calories and I think so far it's working. I'm doing a lot better at portion control, and snacking a bit less.

We tried walking around Wolf Pen Creek again yesterday morning because I overslept on Friday due to forgetting to set my alarm. And we were waiting for George to feel slightly less sick. It felt good, and my foot isn't hurting as much as it did after the first time. It hurt a bit while showering afterwards but so far not nearly as crippling. I think tomorrow we might try walking again while it's still nice outside. Stupid cold front coming in on Tuesday is supposed to drop the temperature to the 30s again.

Our 4 year anniversary was on Friday and it was beautiful outside! We pretty much skipped out on work as soon as I was done with TA stuff to walk around and drink in the sunshine. OGC happy hour at Mad Hatter's was nice. I definitely wanted to be there as soon as TA meeting was over. Had a few drinks and chatted with a few people before walking over to Cafe Eccell for dinner. I love anniversaries, they give me an excuse to order dessert! I love the chocolate strawberry tart. I just salivate thinking about it.

It was nice to do couple-y things. I think we get so caught up during the week trying to get shit done that we don't stop often enough to just be. And that's what I love the most about anniversaries. Just being. :)

It's not even the first lab yet!

Oh students.

How can I possibly say that phrase before having to actually teach a lab? I do believe I was feeling the same way last semester. Only I think the questions were a bit more stupid last semester.

"Oh, you mean I didn't have to ask you where the class is and at what time because you wrote it in the email that I'm replying to? Really? I had to read that?"

And this gem "Where's the e-manuel located?"

Ahem. You mean the E-MANUAL that is located in the tab at the top of the page in big letters labeled E-MANUAL. Right next to the other tab in big letters labeled "LAB QUESTIONS" which I know you were able to figure out because you did the damn pre lab assignment.


This semester it's "I bought the access code, but I didn't receive the username and password, and when I try to recover that information it says that I'm not in the system. PLZ HELP I'M SO STRESSED OUT RITE NOW."

Thanks for emailing me that, dear student. The night before class. When I told you, oh, a week and a half ago, and again in class last week, that this web-based textbook is REQUIRED for EVERYTHING WE DO. And I seem to recall telling you all not to wait until the last minute to do these assignments. Your 19 other classmates seem to have no problem following that instruction.

But I guess there's always one.





*facepalm*

The World is a Vampire

I have Bullet with Butterfly Wings stuck in my head.

First week of school is going well so far. DQ came into CS today, and she came by my office and we chatted for a while. I made sure that my degree plan was okay and submitted it. So one thing off of my checklist. Woo.

First two classes I taught were okay. I had one student not show up to my last class on Wednesday but they were actually responsible and emailed me to say that they were sick with the flu and they can show me a doctor's note if necessary. I said it wasn't (I don't really want to be in the vicinity of someone that just had the flu). But it was nice to have a student that actually took care of their business when they missed class. Just one more class to teach tomorrow morning. I think I have my introduction to the class and webcom down.

In lab we're starting a recycling drive where students can bring in the caps from various bottles (water and soda, laundry detergent, shampoo bottles, gallons of milk, etc). Basically the hard plastic caps that are not allowed in normal plastic recycling bins are being collected, which is awesome because we show in the Nekton/Benthos lab that the main trash found in the stomach of birds and turtles and on beaches are those caps. I'll to bring it up at the TA meeting tomorrow that we could possibly boost the collection by making it competitive between classes. There are about 40 classes every week. I'm not sure what we can legally provide as a prize (remember in elementary school we could get a pizza party for pop tops?), but hopefully that will encourage our students to participate in recycling.

In wedding related news: I found my dress in the College Station mall, for about the same price as I found it for in Glendale. In my overexcited state, I said that I'd be okay to purchase on Saturday. However after talking to my mom, she said that it's too soon, she needs time to save money for it and we still have 16 months until the wedding. The store said that they can get the dress in in approximately 3 months. They don't do alterations, which is fine, I can take it to a seamstress/tailor in Galveston or the Houston area when we move in May. Sigh. I don't know when to order my dress.

*thought*

Maybe I should look in my many bridal magazines and Wedding Planning for Dummies. The Knot says 8 months ahead. I dunno. I feel like whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. It's happened to me in the past.

At least I know what dress I want, right? The hard part is over.



Innnnn other news... Yesterday was George's birthday. I made him peanut butter cupcakes with dark chocolate frosting to take with him into his lab to share. Mainly because I hate peanut butter and chocolate together and we're trying to lose weight, so this way I still got to bake him his special birthday cake, he got to enjoy it, AND we don't have to keep staring at a mound of cupcakes that only he will eat. Everyone wins! I think his lab-mates love me, haha. After classes were over we went over to Terrazzo Wine and Coffee Bar where we had yummy glasses of wine and an appetizer of hummus and pita bread.

Speaking of losing weight. We started an exercise regime where we exercise on MWF in the mornings, mainly by walking around Wolf Pen Creek at an aerobic pace for about 45 minutes and doing some push ups and sit ups or something. Or if it's freezing (like it is right now) we have a bunch of yoga podcasts to warm up in the morning. Sadly though, I hurt the arch of my foot while walking on Monday, so I've been reduced to limping around O&M and the house for the past few days. What's weird is I didn't realize that my foot hurt until Tuesday, when I felt REALLY sore. Now, not so sore, but my foot is being a pain by being in pain. I was hoping to take the bus this week so that we can cut down on gas expenses and also get some of the workout that we used to get before having our own cars.

I really want a balance ball now.

The other reason why I'm confused as to when to order my dress is when I tried on the sample gown at the mall, it was the perfect size for me... a perfect "10" as it were, because that was the size. The combination of that and my jeans being a bit tighter than they used to be spurned the exercise routine. So if I'm trying to lose weight, I should probably wait a few months and see if my measurements are different. Right? Siiiiiigh.


Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage.