Roller Coaster Week

The past week has been an emotional roller coaster in the most literal way I can express. I have never experienced so many ups and downs in such a short amount of time, that, honestly I was tipsy from the emotional whiplash and needed to sit down.

Let's start with last Thursday, my birthday. Not a remarkable day as far as birthdays go. It was actually kind of very sucky. The birthday wishes from friends and family, in addition to a nice birthday dinner at the Kemah Boardwalk and a ferris wheel ride (eee!) helped stave off the suckiness until later in the evening.

I had been notified that I would have to take care of my fees for school this year, which isn't much compared to what I had to pay for undergrad. However, when you think that you have a scholarship for the term of your enrollment, and find out that you don't, it's kind of a slap in the face. George wasn't sure that he was going to have funding for this year either, and I could feel this sinking feeling in my gut that something's gotta give. How could I possibly justify to myself that I needed to pay for a wedding, when I've always been the person to put school first? How could I possibly pay for a wedding when we didn't (and still don't) know our funding situation for the year? I couldn't. And neither could George.

So at dinner, we decided that we would cancel our wedding in May so that we could reserve the money for paying for school if needed. As soon as the decision was made, I felt awful (and broke down in tears) but I also felt immensely relieved. Heartbroken emails were sent, canceling what we couldn't use for any contingency plans, and I started thinking about what to do instead.

Elope? I imagined being eviscerated by my mother in numerous ways that made any Fright Night movie look like Disneyland's Haunted Mansion by comparison. Not only that, I wanted her there, whatever we did. We both wanted our families present wherever and whenever we decided to get married.

The brainstorming turned to San Francisco City Hall as we had originally planned, only this time during winter break 2011. We're going to be in California anyways visiting for the holidays, our families would be off from work, and it seemed like the perfect solution. However, work schedules and city hall availability dates were not cooperating. I was screaming to myself and anyone who I was talking to that day

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SIMPLER, DAMMIT!!!


I was almost in tears (again) when I called my fabulous/gracious/generous aunt to ask for my cousins' winter break schedule. It appeared that nothing was going to work for getting married over winter break. And then she suggested the most mind blowing and generous idea I have ever heard in my life:

"What if your grandma and I took over paying for the rest of the wedding if you can get everything back for the May date?"


(If you couldn't tell, that was the point that I had to sit down.)

I couldn't fathom someone voluntarily taking care of everything. That's a lot of money! It felt like too much to accept. But according to my aunt and grandma, I was going to receive help anyway. I've always been the kind of person to try to take care of things on my own, and I don't like asking for help. It never really occurred to me to ask. Silly? Probably.

I've never been religious by any means, but in that moment, I felt so... BLESSED. I couldn't believe that we were going to get the wedding we wanted and planned for without having to break the bank. I still feel incredibly blessed with such generous and loving family. So unbelievably lucky.

The next 24 hours consisted of me frantically emailing and calling the vendors that we had canceled with, and miraculously everything was still available. No refunds dispersed, contracts still honorable. Like magic, the wedding-date-that-almost-was materialized, as if it hadn't gone anywhere.

A quote that I want to share comes from a conversation with my uncle, explaining the changes:

Me: Well, we were trying to pay for it ourselves...
Uncle: WHY would you do THAT??
Me: Because I'm silly, apparently.


So while my actual birthday was probably one of the worst of my life so far, this year will be great. I can feel it :)

Oh, and I also went on a research cruise for 8 days. The water was a gorgeous cerulean blue and we managed to convince the captain to let us have a "fire drill and man overboard exercise." AKA each of us scientists got to man the fire hose and jump off the back of the boat and swim around for about an hour.

And I almost got pinched by a crab.

Well, Hello Again.

Many apologies for the long hiatus on posting. I know you all have been DYING to know what I've been up to since my last post. A quick summary of happenings of the past few months:

I have...

*...moved to Houston.

*...traveled to San Francisco to visit future sister-in-law and get wedding details arranged (all successes!)

*...bought my wedding dress. (*squee!*)

*...started working as a graduate research assistant at the Galveston A&M campus. The new Ocean and Coastal Studies Building is SO PRETTY. I'll have to take pictures and post next time.

*...been on a research cruise out in the Gulf of Mexico (and will be doing so again next week!).

*...been reading for my thesis proposal (I was supposed to have it written by the end of summer, but there's SO MUCH to read).

*...put up drapes in the living room, dining room and bedroom. So homey and it makes being in the first two rooms a lot more bearable in the morning.

*...made my own hummus.

*...ordered wedding invitations, reply cards, thank you cards, save the dates (all with free envelopes included!) and place cards. I love vistaprint :)

*...taken a day trip to Rice Village.

*...hung out with future sister-in-law for a few days in Houston which included: seeing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 at midnight, a beach day in Galveston, tapas in Rice Village and general laziness.

*...taken part in crazy water month in the lab.

*...tried to go see the Houston Symphony Orchestra perform the Lord of the Rings soundtrack while the movie played on a big screen, but failed. So we improvised and watch the special extended edition at home really loudly instead.

*...dog-sat a vicious demon. No really. He was a vindictive little monster who is no longer welcome in my house.

And that brings us to the present. Right now I'm still reading for my proposal. Well, obviously not right this second, but that's what has been occupying most of my time. Rather, it's more me trying to read for my proposal and really just feeling burned out about it. It's impossible to read or write in a cubicle. It's impossible for me to want to get things done when working at home. So what now? Do I need to take a week-long vacation and come back to it? To take a vacation would require going somewhere and spending money that I don't have. I've been working from home for two days and being stuck inside is driving me insane. I suppose I'm at an impasse. I leave for a cruise on Monday, and will come back the following Tuesday, which leaves a week and a half until school starts. Do I really want to start the school year feeling burned out? Not really. I only have 2 real classes plus a seminar and research hours.

Maybe I will take a week off or something. Hopefully that will fix me.