Scheduling is, and is not, my forte

No less than 4 days after passing my qualifying exam, George and I moved to a new apartment. Luckily we moved to a different apartment in the same complex, so it wasn’t as much stress filled as the move down to Houston had been. But all the same, packing and unpacking was a nightmare.

I do love our new place though. We had been living in an upstairs two-bedroom apartment, with the most inconsiderate neighbors I had ever had the displeasure of sharing walls with. I had hoped that we would finally stay in one place for more than a year, but the neighbors were too much of an annoyance. Now we’re living in a two-bedroom townhouse in the same complex, 300 square feet more space, and two (count them, TWO) extra toilets for only $100 more a month. AND we don’t hear our neighbors through the walls. It’s AWESOME.

On top of that, I needed to drive up to the main campus to start the discussion part of my Oregon class. Schedules being what they were for the students and the professor, the class would be incomplete until the summer when the discussions would be finished. The professor (who is on my committee for my dissertation) is a hands on kind of guy, and likes everyone to be present to discuss things. None of this Skype nonsense.

Sigh.

Two days after moving in, I drove up to College Station with another student from Galveston for an 8 am discussion. Which meant leaving at 5 in the morning to make sure that we didn’t hit traffic in downtown. Which meant I was a cranky bitch for the day. Yay.

After that was dealt with, George and I had 3 days to get everything we needed ready for the wedding. I had my final fitting and picked up my dress. I was forever making and adding to my to-do lists. Almost two years of planning and making sure that we had everything ready, and still the last week was one of the most stressful ever (more on that in the next post).

So basically my/our schedule looked like this:

May 1^st: Written qualifying exam

May 6^th: Final reports for Marine Botany due

May 11^th: Oral qualifying exam

May 14^th: Grades for undergrads due

May 15^th: Moving day!

May 17^th: College Station

May 20^th: Leave for California

May 22^nd: Arrive in Berkeley

I can assure you that I wanted to cry multiple times. Sometimes I did.

Quals

As I type, the ship sways slowly in a circular motion. I haven’t slept a solid 8 hours since Tuesday, and right now it’s 2:22 am on Friday, June 15^th. The cruise plan keeps changing and I can’t afford to fall asleep on watch, no matter how much my eyelids droop and my body cries for a caffeine fix. The past month and a half has been nothing short of stressful, exciting and hectic. I’ll get to everything soon enough, but for now I’ll start at the beginning of my 6 weeks of (mostly) hell: Quals.

The qualifying exam is a way for some graduate students who are pursuing a PhD. without having a Master’s degree to bypass that step and say “hey, I’m competent, I can handle my own.” In my department, which is divided into the 4 disciplines of oceanography (physical, geological, chemical and biological), each section provides its students an exam once a year for those PhD. students that do not possess a Master’s. The exam is set by the faculty of the section that the student belongs to (in my case, the biological section), and each year, the faculty members that write questions for the exam changes. Every faculty member is invited to write one to three questions, with the exam totaling 12 questions. Some members can’t be bothered to contribute to the exam, and some contribute the same question every year. The oral part of the exam takes place about a week after the written and, in theory, is based on the incorrect answers from the written.

In theory, the exam tests the material that the student has learned in the 2 years it would take to obtain a Master’s degree, and is based solely on the material of the student’s section. And the faculty can literally ask ANYTHING they feel like. It was this fact that was the cause of most of my stress during my manic study sessions.

The 12-question exam is 4 hours long, meaning that each answer can only take 20 minutes. Granted that given that much time, the answers can’t be very detailed, but that was my first issue with the exam. Going into an exam, not knowing what could possibly be asked, being filled to the brim with information that is just waiting to be vomited onto paper… 20 minutes is not a lot of time to think about what the author of the question is asking for, organize thoughts, and WRITE. Not type. Handwritten answers. I was smart enough to bring a timer with me so I could keep track of myself and be able to answer every question. My suggestion to the faculty for the next person who needs to take the exam would be to either shorten the number of questions or give the person more time. Twenty minutes to answer a question that could be on any subject in the specialized discipline of oceanography is just not fair.

Which brings me to the one question that sticks out in my head, and will probably stay with me for the rest of my life. “Describe the trophic interactions in cold seep environments. What are the primary producers and what is the fixed form of energy they produce?”

My reaction while in the exam room was pretty much “What. The ever-living. Fuck.” In the 2 years that I was taking classes, cold seeps were mentioned probably once and not in much detail. I knew jack shit about cold seeps, but I wasn’t about to just let the points slip away. I needed an average of 7/10 on the written to pass. I wrote about the basics of trophic interactions and how they might be adapted to the environment in question and left it there, mentally cursing the professor who authored it several times over to the fiery pits of hell and beyond.

(See what I mean about being asked anything under the sea?)

The stress and strain I had put on myself for the written exam resulted in one of the worst colds I had ever had. Most people in the office assumed that I was taking a mental health day when I didn’t show up the day after the exam. In reality I was sick as a dog and didn’t want to share my misery with others. That, and I really, REALLY needed to get better for the oral exam that was a week later.

The oral exam, again, in theory, is supposed to discuss the incorrect answers on the written exam and give the student the chance to learn from the mistakes, defend their answers, and move on. But of course, that’s not what actually happened. It turned into a mini-prelim exam. I was asked question after question about my proposal and what might happen in certain scenarios. Given that I have spent the past 2 years both teaching classes and taking classes, I haven’t had the time to work on my project to the degree that questioning faculty seemed to be looking for. But at the same time, I knew that they were looking for the holes in my basic knowledge, trying to figure out how best to help me do what I came to graduate school to do. The worst part was having the proposal be the main focus of the oral, not the exam itself, which is how I prepared, how I was told to prepare.

Despite all of my bitching and moaning, I passed my quals, and I am officially a PhD. student. Some universities and departments allow the qualifying exam to stand for a Master of Arts degree, but unfortunately, mine is not one of them. The bright side is, I know I can do this. The faculty know I can do this. That shiny diploma and hooded gown will be mine.

HOLY FLYING MONKEYS, BATMAN!!

Lots of things have been happening lately, and I really shouldn't be blogging right now because my qualifying exam is next Tuesday and I'm not even remotely ready for it, BUT I wanted to make a quick post becauseeeeeee....




OHMYGOD I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!!!






It hit me today that in less than a month we will be driving to California, and in 34 days (THIRTY. FOUR. DAYS.) I will be a wife?!?! Until today the whole wedding has been abstract, like "oh yeah, we're getting married."

And then today I dropped off my ring to be replated so it'll look nice and shiny with minimal scratching, and the sales representative was talking about "how I could just wait...oh no, it's actually pretty close, huh?"

*mental math*

HOLY SHIT I'M GETTING MARRIED!


*cue tears of joy and anxiety. but mostly joy and disbelief*

And now this song is going through my head.

With that, I must get back to reading. :)

The Name of the Game...

... is panic attack! Let's see how many times I have a panic attack between now and May 27th :)

I seriously wake up every morning in a panic about things that have to be done, which are currently:

- Study for quals (written exam is May 1st, oral exam is May 11th)... EEK!!
- Refresh my memory on ecological principles for my field trip to Oregon next week (EEK!!! But that's a good panic... I think).
- Finish wedding planning (and everything that goes with it... EEK!!!)
- Teach students and grade papers for the rest of the semester.
- Get crap ready for moving on May 15th.


It's getting to the point that I almost feel like vomiting all day. Perhaps this will help with the weight loss? Gotta make sure my dress fits though.

I have a hair trial appointment on Saturday morning and I honestly have NO IDEA what to do with my frickin hair. Which is frustrating and disappointing because so few people have my type of hair, it's not like I can look up an actress and stalk her red carpet hair-dos.

Things that I do know:

- Dress is strapless, which probably means down 'do. (Right?)
- I will not be straightening my hair. I don't look like myself and it takes too long. (~ 3 hours. Yes. Three hours.)

That's pretty much all I know. I'm paying $75 for someone to play with my hair and tell me what I can do with it.

The only pictures I can find that are remotely useful are these:

So... yeah. Veil or no veil? Hair accessory? WHAT DO I DO!?!?!

Well, How DID I Get Here?

Do any of you ever have those moments where sometimes you just stop and think about your life, and wonder how the hell time has gone so fast? Yesterday you were getting up and ready for your first period English class in high school and suddenly you're a college grad. I had one of those moments a couple days ago.

I can't even remember what I was thinking about at the time, but it suddenly hit me that I'm an adult. I graduated college. I have my own apartment and car. I cook my own dinners, do my own chores. I'm getting MARRIED for pete's sake. And I have no idea how it happened.

Sometimes I feel like there's so much going on in life, that I'm just trying to get to the next step: gotta graduate high school, gotta go to college, gotta graduate college, gotta get a job. There's a few moments in between where you realize that you just have to stop and appreciate your life. Think about what you've done. It's a very surreal thing, to acknowledge that so many things have happened already.

And this song pops into my head when I have those moments:

Evening Musings.

I've been making it a point during the three weeks that I don't have to grade for class to make some significant progress on my dissertation proposal. So far that's going really well. I went home yesterday, took a nap and read for 6 hours. Today was kind of the same deal, but I'm having a lot of trouble keeping focused now. Sigh. So many things to think about!

In reading yesterday, I figured out yet another component that I want to add to my project. I talked to DQ this morning about it and she was very supportive, and it sounds like it's going to work... I'm just getting really tired of reading. I want to write. I have 1.5 papers left to read that I printed out for myself, and tomorrow I was going to type up all of the notes that I made from my readings and finally get down to writing the proposal. But sometimes late at night I get really anxious, and I'm not sure why. There are several possibilities/probabilities:

- Wedding is 88 days away. Commence mental rundown of checklist and stress over what hasn't been dealt with yet.

- Proposal needs to be written by April 1st. At least a draft of it.

- Need to study for qualifying exams. I'm still not sure when these are going to be held. Or what it is that I need to study. But once I get going on the proposal I can get into studying.

- Still need to see my dress and make sure the necessary alterations have been made and it's not completely screwed up.

- The never ending pile of grading that I will have to do.

- I hate being alone during the week. It sucks. But it's also great because I can get a lot of reading done.

- I replaced the catalytic converter in my car a couple weeks ago (read: I spent about $1000 on my car a couple weeks ago) and the check engine light came on AGAIN this morning. I'm really hoping that it's not something horribly wrong... My little car ate all of my tax refund :(

- I'm switching to the dark side. All this week I've needed to have a cup of coffee instead of tea to get started and keep myself awake at least until 2 pm. It's still too bitter for me but I think the Vanilla Bean blend from World Market is nice with some whipped cream :) Makes it drinkable. You know you're getting in deep when you have to up the daily caffeine dosage.

 So that's the window into my head at the moment. Some good things have happened this week though:

- "Poop, while grim;" student dropped my class yesterday. It was the best decision for both of us. He met with the other TA, myself, and DQ and it was apparent that he just had no clue what was going on in the class. So now he doesn't fail anymore and I don't have to spend hours and hours fixing everything that's wrong with his reports.

- George has been getting several job offers! It's nice that he's such a hot commodity and that we'll be financially taken care of after he graduates. I got me a sugar daddy and it's NICE. We can finally comfortably plan a honeymoon (need to figure out where to...) and maybe move to a nicer apartment. Oh, and make some substantial payments on my student loans, but details, details.

- I submitted my first grant application last week! It would be absolutely amazing if I get it, and would be a significant weight off of my chest, but I won't find out until May if I'm accepted or rejected. Fingers crossed!

- I know that I need to work out more, and that I need to make time for it. I'm never really sure where to go or what to do, but it occurred to me this evening that I could swim laps before leaving school during the week. It's an interesting idea, and I think it will give me the activity I need, since I'm either at my desk or on the couch all day if I'm not teaching.


 Woooooooooooooooooooooooo.

That just happened??

This semester is proving to be very interesting indeed. I finished grading the second set of lab reports for the semester and sent out emails to the students containing their reports with my comments and their final grade. Lo and behold, I get a nasty gram from "Poop, while grim;" whom had earned a 47.

The following is the exchange we had via email:

------

Lab Report 2 graded. Please read over the comments and use them to help write your Lab Report 3.

------

Dear Allyson,

I feel your grading is a bit harsh and irrational and there are things that must be addressed. My sole intention is to clarify these issues, ask you to be more concise in what you are looking for, and ultimately to email me back on what I can do to improve further reports. 

I do recall you specifically saying our incubation time was till one, which you announced around twelve. If not, then we did did not have an incubation time told to us. I also do not recall what DO stood for, so that was obviously my mistake and should have asked. You also just told us it was at a boat basin, how am I supposed to describe a boat basin to you? I was not there when the sample was collected. I was not quite sure what you were looking for in that part of the report. If you can help with some tips on future reports I would be forever grateful or should I just read your comments and go from there? Thank you.

-K

------ 
 
Dear K,

As you know, this is a writing intensive course with the objective of instructing you on how to become a better author of scientific material. The grade and comments that you received were reflective of your work and given to help you improve. 
 
As for what I’m looking for when grading, I grade with the rubric, which you have. You should use the rubric as a checklist to make sure that you have addressed everything in your report. If you are unsure of how to write a scientific lab report, there is a folder on eLearning with tips, in addition to the section in the lab manual about scientific writing and the Writing Center in CLB. During the incubation period in this week’s lab I will be going over some comments, tips and suggestions for writing lab reports.
 
As for the comments you have above: It is not my responsibility to provide the exact incubation time, though it was written in the methods of the lab manual. It is your responsibility as a student to pay attention to the details of your experiment. I announced that the water was taken from the small boat basin. If you were/are unclear about the study site, you should ask. Scientific papers are precise in their description of their study site, i.e. environmental conditions (temperature, weather, salinity if possible) and location of sampling (for example, in the report it would be Texas A&M University at Galveston small boat basin in Galveston, TX). 

In reading your report, it appears to DQ and me that you did not understand the experiment or the processes behind it. If by the end of the lab session you are unsure of anything regarding the experiments, please ask, preferably before the report is due. 

If you would like additional recommendations or comments I am happy to provide them. If you would like to neglect my advice your grades will reflect that.

Regards,

Allyson

-------

Thank you. I try my best. And I will keep trying my best, hopefully you and DQ will see that. 


End.----

Okay. I'm sorry but I would NEVER, EVER have talked like that to my TA. Who the hell does this kid think he is? Does he think I don't talk to the prof that teaches the class (and is also my advisor for crying out loud?!)?? I showed DQ his report with my comments on it, and while reading it she repeatedly gasped "What?!" It was very clear that he didn't understand the experiment, what was happening during the experiment, or the basic processes of photosynthesis and respiration. Which I don't understand because this is a SENIOR. LEVEL. CLASS. for which introductory biology and marine biology are prerequisites. 

But the kid has balls, I'll give him that. 

Sorry dude, I can't give you a grade for effort. If I could, it would probably be lower than what you got the first time. 

Life Adventures in 2012 So Far

Howdy doodles!


We survived the trip to California, not much worse for the wear. We didn't get to visit everyone and everywhere that we wanted but overall the trip was a success (and too short, but isn't it always?). We made it back home with our apartment intact, our plants still (mostly) living. I inadvertently killed our basil... apparently you're supposed to pinch off the flowers? The stems transitioned from herbaceous to woody for the most part. Our mint still lives but I think we're just going to start over and have each herb in it's own pot instead of the windowsill box. 


George's sister did us the favor of going to the venue's meal tasting for us, as they were unable to accomodate one for us while we were in the area over the holidays. She sent us her notes and our menu is done! Etiquette says that I need to wait until the 3 month mark to send out invitations (just under 4 months now!) and I'm getting impatient. I've had these invitations since July. Patience is a virtue and I have limited quantities of it. Just ask George. I gave him his Christmas present before Thanksgiving because I was too excited about it. He opened his birthday/anniversary present 4/13 days before the actual occasions. 


Dress is done with alterations, though I haven't had the chance to do my final fitting before taking it into my possession. George ordered his wedding band. A close friend is going to premarital counseling as mandated by the church that's doing the service. After hearing that, I thought "Should we be doing that? Why didn't I think to do it in the first place? What if we don't match up on paper? Ohgodohgodohgod." Thankfully we were able to go through pseudo premarital counseling by asking ourselves these questions (which went very well! We're very excited about the future.) I'm starting to get to the stage of planning where I'm getting sick of planning and I just want the damn thing over with.


Our five year anniversary was last week! It was a very low key day, but it was wonderful :) Our last dating anniversary! This next year is going to be awesome. 


We've been dealing with new neighbors since we came back from break. All of them have the neighborly consideration of a frat house. I've had to knock on each of their doors several times because I can not only hear what they're watching on TV but the bass is so loud that the pictures on our walls shake, and my feet vibrate. I HATE SHARING WALLS WITH PEOPLE. I cannot WAIT to move. Honestly?! Who does that? Why would you have your volume and bass up that loud when you share walls with three different apartments??


I'm applying for several scholarships, one of which is very distinguished within NOAA and the Office of National Marine Sanctuaries. It would fund the remainder of my graduate career and would make life OH SO MUCH EASIER. I came in with a two year scholarship from College Station, and after dealing with the bureaucracy of being a TA in Galveston but taking College Station hours and figuring out who pays for what, I just want to be self sufficient. Fortunately the huge grant I'm applying for sounds like it was written for me, but I'm still keeping my fingers crossed. I'm also STILL WAITING to hear back from the Office of Graduate Studies on my change of degree from Master's to PhD. Even though they've had the paperwork in hand for weeks. The sooner they process it, the sooner I can submit my grant application and not worry about confusion for technically being a Master's student when I applied, when actually I'm PhD. 


I'm teaching Marine Botany lab this semester and already I can tell that it's going to be interesting. Their first assignment was to pick one of the five scientific articles that we posted to the class website and write a 250 word summary. Now keep in mind that they have access to the rubric that we're using to grade their assignments. THEY KNOW WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR. And still people submitted incomplete assignments. Two of my students very blatantly plagiarized. One of the two submitted a summary with not a single original sentence. Everything, and I do mean everything, was copy-pasted. This same student submitted a nearly perfect paper this past week with everything cited, which sent off red alerts in my head. Something fishy is going on with this student, but I have no proof of anything. 


A couple of my students can't write proper English to save their lives. One of the papers they were given to summarize (which the majority chose) was an article about how whale fecal matter in the upper water column contributes to the nutrients available for phytoplankton to utilize in photosynthesis. The following is an excerpt from a summary submitted by a college senior:


The authors use wishy-washy math and have "conservative" answers eluding their uncertainty. Poop, while grim; this was an interesting take on how it enhances life.




Take a minute to read and let that soak in. 




Still don't understand what he's trying to say? Neither do I. Here's a short list of the few problems I have with this excerpt:

• Since when is math "wishy-washy?" 
• Why are you using the phrase "wishy-washy" when writing a scientific article summary?
• Do you know what the word "eluding" means?
• Why did you say "poop" when writing a scientific article summary? The article clearly references "poop" as "fecal matter."
• "Poop, while grim" is not an independent clause, therefore there should not be a semicolon after it. 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How do these kids get into college? How have they gotten this far? Why are they trying to make my life miserable? WHY???

(I have the feeling that I'll be asking the question "WHY?????" a lot this semester.)

The "poop" student also submitted his next report with a picture of his grading rubric instead of the document. He could have just copy-pasted the rubric into his report, but instead he took a picture of a printed rubric and inserted the picture into his report. 

WHY????????

Holiday Travels

Somewhere between the relief and ecstasy of being done with finals and excitement of finally going back home, I have managed to completely stress myself out about the actual traveling. Not quite at finals-level anxiety but close. The knot in my chest, resembling an asthma attack, is omnipresent. The endless list of things to do before leaving keeps adding to itself in my head and I can hardly manage to sit still for more than a few minutes. It takes me forever to finally calm my brain down to the point that sleep is possible. In fact, the past couple nights, I haven't been able to fall asleep without the help of medication.

Simply Sleep is awesome, by the way.

The conclusion to the insanity of the past few days? There's simply not enough time over the holiday break for me to give everyone that I want to see a proper visit. There are so many people that I haven't seen in a long time, especially my Momma. The guilt that I feel for not being able to dedicate a significant amount of time into visiting each person that I want to see, in addition to the stress of not having a detailed schedule for the coming week, is overwhelming.

An interesting quirk I've discovered about myself is that I try to make up for not having a schedule by being as prepared for what I know is coming as possible. Like the flights tomorrow, for example. I started packing on Friday, checked us in online as soon as the opportunity was available, paid the baggage fee for our one checked bag, printed boarding passes and checked luggage receipt, printed airport parking confirmations, started packing snacks and lunch, cleaned house, got my oil changed, charged the Kindle, cleaned out my car... Yeah. I've been busy.

Welcome to adulthood and the two-week vacation.

Now, I will have an opportunity to see everyone at the wedding in May. (Meaning I won't have to wait a year to see my family. What?? What is this nonsense???) That does make me feel a teensy bit better.

The obvious solution is I need to move back to California. The question is: when? I guess I should start looking for potential post doc positions.

In other news, we've been discussing what should go into the garden of our eventual house. So far on the list we have:

• Avocado tree
• Clementine tree
• Tomato plant
• Cilantro
• Basil
• Mint
• Jalapeno 
• Pecan tree
• Apple tree
• Bell peppers
• Cucumber
• Garlic
• Onion
• Parsley

I have no idea if all of those things can be grown together in a single climate. Or how much land our dream garden requires. But it would be nice!! Any other suggestions to add to the list?

Done with Finals! FOREVER!

So fall semester is officially done. My requirements for my degree are (almost) done. The classes that will require finals? DONE. No more finals for me. Forever.

FOR-EV-ERRRRRR!!!!

What? Pinkie Pie says it best :)

Things that have changed in the last... 4 months? 

• I'm officially switching from a Master's to a PhD. :) 
• A result of: wanting a PhD eventually and finally figuring out what I want to do and being able to tailor my current project to that ideal. SCORE!

• I will be teaching again next semester. DQ's Marine Botany lab!
• Apparently I'm next in the rotation of DQ's grad students to teach the lab portion of her class. The nice thing is that I won't have to do all of the grading by myself!

• My wedding dress came in and I went for my fitting and supposedly the alterations are done. Woo!
• I was asked if I wanted to wait for the alterations to be done at a later date. I said no. The sooner things can get checked off of my list, the better!

• Lots of wedding details are coming together, thankfully. Trying to get as much done as possible.
• The dress... the tuxes... figuring out the favors... making my veil... the schedule... wedding party gifts, toasting flutes and cake serving set, and staying within budget! That was a very happy order.

• The guest list is by far the worst part of wedding planning.
• I don't think I've said a truer statement.

• Dissertation proposal still not written, but that's my assignment for myself next semester. Oh and taking quals. 
• :-/

I think things are falling into place very nicely! We're leaving for California for the holidays next week (SO. STOKED.) and I actually get to see my hun bun for an entire TWO WEEKS. That hasn't happened since this summer! 

Christmas gifts this year are rather small. While we don't have to pay for the wedding anymore (still feeling the blessings of an amazing family, bee-tee-dubs), we're still kinda in the not-able-to-afford-lavish-gifts income bracket. Sticking to small gifts for the immediate family and baked goodies for everyone else this year. Apparently my gingerbread cookies are a hit! The tin that I brought for my lab mates yesterday was hoovered by the end of the day. The only issue is figuring out how to get baked goodies to the family in California since we're flying instead of driving this year. 

And you know? I keep getting asked by family members what I want for Christmas this year. And while there are things that I wouldn't mind getting, I can honestly say that I'm good without gifts this year. All I want is to spend time with family that I haven't seen in a year, and my wedding is still happening. I'm good. No. I'm GREAT. 

Happy holidays, everyone :)

Roller Coaster Week

The past week has been an emotional roller coaster in the most literal way I can express. I have never experienced so many ups and downs in such a short amount of time, that, honestly I was tipsy from the emotional whiplash and needed to sit down.

Let's start with last Thursday, my birthday. Not a remarkable day as far as birthdays go. It was actually kind of very sucky. The birthday wishes from friends and family, in addition to a nice birthday dinner at the Kemah Boardwalk and a ferris wheel ride (eee!) helped stave off the suckiness until later in the evening.

I had been notified that I would have to take care of my fees for school this year, which isn't much compared to what I had to pay for undergrad. However, when you think that you have a scholarship for the term of your enrollment, and find out that you don't, it's kind of a slap in the face. George wasn't sure that he was going to have funding for this year either, and I could feel this sinking feeling in my gut that something's gotta give. How could I possibly justify to myself that I needed to pay for a wedding, when I've always been the person to put school first? How could I possibly pay for a wedding when we didn't (and still don't) know our funding situation for the year? I couldn't. And neither could George.

So at dinner, we decided that we would cancel our wedding in May so that we could reserve the money for paying for school if needed. As soon as the decision was made, I felt awful (and broke down in tears) but I also felt immensely relieved. Heartbroken emails were sent, canceling what we couldn't use for any contingency plans, and I started thinking about what to do instead.

Elope? I imagined being eviscerated by my mother in numerous ways that made any Fright Night movie look like Disneyland's Haunted Mansion by comparison. Not only that, I wanted her there, whatever we did. We both wanted our families present wherever and whenever we decided to get married.

The brainstorming turned to San Francisco City Hall as we had originally planned, only this time during winter break 2011. We're going to be in California anyways visiting for the holidays, our families would be off from work, and it seemed like the perfect solution. However, work schedules and city hall availability dates were not cooperating. I was screaming to myself and anyone who I was talking to that day

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SIMPLER, DAMMIT!!!


I was almost in tears (again) when I called my fabulous/gracious/generous aunt to ask for my cousins' winter break schedule. It appeared that nothing was going to work for getting married over winter break. And then she suggested the most mind blowing and generous idea I have ever heard in my life:

"What if your grandma and I took over paying for the rest of the wedding if you can get everything back for the May date?"


(If you couldn't tell, that was the point that I had to sit down.)

I couldn't fathom someone voluntarily taking care of everything. That's a lot of money! It felt like too much to accept. But according to my aunt and grandma, I was going to receive help anyway. I've always been the kind of person to try to take care of things on my own, and I don't like asking for help. It never really occurred to me to ask. Silly? Probably.

I've never been religious by any means, but in that moment, I felt so... BLESSED. I couldn't believe that we were going to get the wedding we wanted and planned for without having to break the bank. I still feel incredibly blessed with such generous and loving family. So unbelievably lucky.

The next 24 hours consisted of me frantically emailing and calling the vendors that we had canceled with, and miraculously everything was still available. No refunds dispersed, contracts still honorable. Like magic, the wedding-date-that-almost-was materialized, as if it hadn't gone anywhere.

A quote that I want to share comes from a conversation with my uncle, explaining the changes:

Me: Well, we were trying to pay for it ourselves...
Uncle: WHY would you do THAT??
Me: Because I'm silly, apparently.


So while my actual birthday was probably one of the worst of my life so far, this year will be great. I can feel it :)

Oh, and I also went on a research cruise for 8 days. The water was a gorgeous cerulean blue and we managed to convince the captain to let us have a "fire drill and man overboard exercise." AKA each of us scientists got to man the fire hose and jump off the back of the boat and swim around for about an hour.

And I almost got pinched by a crab.

Well, Hello Again.

Many apologies for the long hiatus on posting. I know you all have been DYING to know what I've been up to since my last post. A quick summary of happenings of the past few months:

I have...

*...moved to Houston.

*...traveled to San Francisco to visit future sister-in-law and get wedding details arranged (all successes!)

*...bought my wedding dress. (*squee!*)

*...started working as a graduate research assistant at the Galveston A&M campus. The new Ocean and Coastal Studies Building is SO PRETTY. I'll have to take pictures and post next time.

*...been on a research cruise out in the Gulf of Mexico (and will be doing so again next week!).

*...been reading for my thesis proposal (I was supposed to have it written by the end of summer, but there's SO MUCH to read).

*...put up drapes in the living room, dining room and bedroom. So homey and it makes being in the first two rooms a lot more bearable in the morning.

*...made my own hummus.

*...ordered wedding invitations, reply cards, thank you cards, save the dates (all with free envelopes included!) and place cards. I love vistaprint :)

*...taken a day trip to Rice Village.

*...hung out with future sister-in-law for a few days in Houston which included: seeing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 at midnight, a beach day in Galveston, tapas in Rice Village and general laziness.

*...taken part in crazy water month in the lab.

*...tried to go see the Houston Symphony Orchestra perform the Lord of the Rings soundtrack while the movie played on a big screen, but failed. So we improvised and watch the special extended edition at home really loudly instead.

*...dog-sat a vicious demon. No really. He was a vindictive little monster who is no longer welcome in my house.

And that brings us to the present. Right now I'm still reading for my proposal. Well, obviously not right this second, but that's what has been occupying most of my time. Rather, it's more me trying to read for my proposal and really just feeling burned out about it. It's impossible to read or write in a cubicle. It's impossible for me to want to get things done when working at home. So what now? Do I need to take a week-long vacation and come back to it? To take a vacation would require going somewhere and spending money that I don't have. I've been working from home for two days and being stuck inside is driving me insane. I suppose I'm at an impasse. I leave for a cruise on Monday, and will come back the following Tuesday, which leaves a week and a half until school starts. Do I really want to start the school year feeling burned out? Not really. I only have 2 real classes plus a seminar and research hours.

Maybe I will take a week off or something. Hopefully that will fix me.

Year One: Complete.

I finished classes, both for teaching and for taking, on May 9th at 11:30 pm. The take home final was tedious and annoying, but I finished. Ever since, I have been over the moon. No more teaching. I'm done with the bulk of my classes. I'm a year and a half (most likely) from finishing my Master's degree. It's strange to think that this time last year I was graduating from undergrad. It feels like so much longer ago. It's also strange to think that I'm still 22. For some reason I feel like I should be older. I feel older. Twenty-two sounds really young, and truthfully I'm one of the youngest grad students in the department. But I don't feel that way.

There were definitely ups and downs over the course of this semester. Most of the downs to do with assignments for which expectations were not made clear, uncertainties with what concepts were going to be asked of students on exams, and dealing with juggling teaching 3 classes and taking 3 classes. All in addition to the myriad of situations of undergrads-and-their-lack-of-common-sense.

The ups... this will take me a minute.

- Going out on a boat on Galveston Bay to collect samples and falling into the best sleep I had had in months at 8:30 that night until 6:30 the next morning.
- Teaching my students about recycling and really cool animals that I find awesome. And then having several students pipe in about options for recycling. And then seeing their eyes widen and their faces screw up in concentration as they contemplate how big a blue whale really is when I show them a baleen tooth.
- Talking about concepts related to my thesis in my Biogeochemistry of Estuaries class (taught by one of my committee members!) and debating about what's going on there.
- Booking a venue for our wedding! And planning a trip out to California to investigate vendors.
- Planning a summer that will involve a full time paying job in a lab that I enjoy being in and research cruises out on the Gulf :)
- Almost weekly meetings for lunch and/or drinks with my dear friend and bridesmaid Alicia, who got engaged two days ago! I'm so happy and excited for her and her now fiancee! Wow that's weird. But a good weird.

I mentioned in my previous post (or rather the comments) that I should give at least one story about the good kids in my classes. As I racked my brain, I found that there's really not a story about the good kids. I enjoyed having them in my classes, and they gave me a ray of hope that the world may not end after all. Though for a short story, in the last lab of the semester, Nekton/Benthos, we discussed the effects of pollution through non-recyclable plastics, what different animals live where, and then a series of video clips about things that I find awesome followed (i.e. bubble netting, dolphin longshore feeding, Christmas Island crab spawning, flamboyant cuttlefish, pretty much anything narrated by David Attenborough) and a video about overfishing (look up Blue Planet: Deep Trouble episode).

I swear to god, everything this man says sounds AMAZING. ALWAYS. By far, my favorite documentary narrator.

This was the class that a couple of students spoke up about other options of where to recycle. At the end, one pair of students that had piped in in the discussion came up to talk to me at the end of class to talk about a book she had read for a different class in Environmental Studies. I forget the name of the book, I'll email her about it later, but she said that she was so moved by it that she decided to not eat fish, and she had previously not given any thought to it. It was really... something. I felt fortunate to have been her TA.


In other news, we start our move to Houston on Wednesday. I haven't really started packing yet. Maybe I should start packing up the office tonight. It'll give me something to do other than re-watch the 7th season of Gilmore Girls. I've also been investigating washers and dryers. We're FINALLY moving to an apartment with washer/dryer connections and while it would be cheaper to buy off of craigslist, I'd rather buy new. I think it's worth the cost to invest in something new that I can get fixed in case of accidents. Plus, with applying for a card from the store, I can pay off the washer and dryer but keep the card for future big purchases. It feels so adult!

After moving, we have a week to get settled before jetting off to California to tour our venue and investigate the florist, photographers, cake bakers, hotels, rehearsal dinner locations, and observe a set up of a wedding at the venue. It's going to be a packed weekend, but I'm really looking forward to it. It'll be nice to get something concrete done and not school related for the next couple weeks.

*face-palm*

A while ago I had a student miss a class and she didn't email me or come talk to me about missing it. So I was really surprised when she submitted a data form for the class she didn't attend. I took a closer look and it was a xeroxed copy of her lab partner's data form. She just scribbled out his name and wrote in hers.

At first I wasn't sure how to deal with her because I had never had that happen before. So when she was done with the lab I took her outside and showed her the data form and told her "This is plagiarism and I can't accept this data form. I don't want to have to report you to the Aggie Honor Code Office."

For those of you that aren't Aggies, we at Texas A&M have an honor code that all students must abide by:

"An Aggie does not lie, cheat, or steal, or tolerate those who do."

The Honor Code Office (or Academic Integrity Office) handles cases of cheating and plagiarism, and students can be expelled for plagiarism depending on the severity.

Her response to my statement was "Oh my gosh, I didn't think about it that way! I'm so sorry, thank you for letting me know."

In my head I'm thinking "How else would you think about it? You took your partner's data form, xeroxed it, and tried to pass it off as your own. That's the scenario definition of plagiarism."

Anyhow, I give my students the opportunity to complete extra credit by finding scientific articles and writing a one page summary of the article. I reminded her of the opportunity and said that she can make up the points that way.

She came by my office 5 minutes to the deadline and handed me a stack of papers, along with her Fandango ticket to see African Cats, and then left. A few minutes after she left I looked through the papers to find:

- a scientific article on coral reefs (NOT a summary, just the article)
- a scientific article on harmful algal blooms (again, NOT a summary, just the article)
- an incomplete google docs printout of what looks to be a summary on beached oiled seabird surveys (nothing related to the aforementioned articles).

Confused, I emailed her asking if she misunderstood the assignment or if there was a mix up. She emailed back about a half hour later saying "Oh my goodness, I gave you the wrong stuff! I already left town for the weekend, can I email them to you?"

I said yes she can email it. If it's a simple mix up I have no problem giving her the opportunity to rectify the situation.

This morning I wake up to no email from her. So I emailed her this morning saying "I need your summaries (SUMMARIES, not the articles, but please include a works cited of the articles you summarized) via email by 5 pm today. In fairness to those students that turned theirs in on time, after 5 pm, your submission will be considered void and won't count as extra credit."

In my head I'm thinking, "If someone wants to go from a C to a B or a B to an A that badly, if they know they did something wrong and asked for an opportunity to correct their mistake, they would do so ASAP."

It's now 11 pm and I haven't even heard a "Sorry, I couldn't get to my email, here's my stuff." Obviously, she doesn't care enough. And I don't care enough to hear excuses.

The other girl from yesterday finally submitted her extra credit summaries, which she did as a text file and formatted it so that half of the summary was red and italicized and overall formatted weirdly. One was okay, the other was only half a page and didn't include a works cited.

I'm sorry, but for a summary, if I don't have some way of knowing what you summarized, how do I know whether or not what you wrote was plagiarized? Or completely bullshitted and made up?

Something similar came from the lab partner of the would-be plagiarizer. He submitted one, but didn't give a works cited. Fortunately there was still time until the deadline and I told him he needed to give me his works cited. He then submitted another summary, only this one was half a page because he put his works cited on the same page as the summary and took up about a quarter of the page with his heading.

Some students are not going to be happy with their grades. And quite honestly I don't care because they will be in the minority.

One of the Few Times I Feel Bad About Being a Hardass

So today is the deadline for extra credit in my class. I say in the syllabus and I said at the beginning of the semester that for extra credit, each student can read and summarize up to 5 scientific articles for 2 points each. If they do all 5, they move up an entire grade.

Now remember, I said this at the beginning of the semester. I also sent out a reminder after the last lab of the semester 3 weeks ago. I sent a reminder last week. And this week.

So imagine my surprise when I get an email that says this:

"Is there any possible way I could turn in the extra credit Monday? I have had an extremely busy week with three finals. I've completed one extra credit article but I'm pretty sure that is not enough to move to an 80."


I do feel kind of bad because the deadline being today isn't necessary in the sense that I need these in so I can have your grades done just in the knick of time for being submitted. I chose today because ideally everything would already be done and it gave my students between 2-3 weeks to know that hey, if they want a better grade, they have some time to do the extra credit. 


I also feel bad because there's really no reason for anyone in my class to get a C.


BUT. I need to stick to my guns here. It's not fair to the (few) students who turned in their summaries on time. On top of that, I'm giving them extra credit if they saw African Cats during opening week so as to maximize the amount of funds that go to saving the savannah. If I comply to every complainer in my classes, nothing would ever get done.


So, in conclusion, student, we all have busy weeks. But you had time to know what grade you had and whether or not you'd need to do the extra credit. Planning your time wisely is an essential lesson in college and I hope you've learned it well. Clearly, my class has not been a priority for you, and as you are a non-science major I can somewhat understand. Circumstances being what they are (i.e. you not doing well in my class and waiting until the last minute to do anything about it, and then asking me to extend a deadline that you've known about all semester), you're stuck with a C. 


Too bad. So sad. Better luck next time.










I mean, really? Teaching this class has shown me that quite a few people with little common sense and/or sense of independent thinking do actually get into college. Which is frightening. I really feel that the standards for getting into college should be stricter. And so should the primary education standards. Education should be more valued, and not religiously skewed. Teaching young people to think for themselves in primary school should be required. So should the value of planning and getting shit done.